Sooner or Later
by DragonGecko18
Summary: Ducky performs the blood test on Jenny to try and diagnose her mystery illness... What effects will this have on the team? (Set around the time that Jenny found out about her illness in season 5)
1. Chapter 1

**Sooner or Later**

She could feel the cold, hard pressed autopsy table radiating chills up her spine. As she sat there on the table at 11pm, she folded her arms together to try and keep in heat. Ducky went back and forth from a table of needles and blood to a table of plasters and bandages.

All that could be heard was the air conditioning. It sounded like a constant breeze. It didn't reassure her fears though. If anything, it reminded her of the hospital. The fear she would experience sitting in the waiting room… with the only thing to comfort you was the sound of rushing gurneys and trashy magazines. The sound of muffled tears and the tightness in your stomach.

Something was wrong with her… that was for sure. The shakes… the trembles. The sudden flinches. The loss of balance and vertigo. She turned her head away as the medical examiner took one of her arms and inserted another long needle into her vein. Drawing more of her scarlet blood into a small vial.

The needle felt like fire. It hurt. She hurt. Physically. Emotionally. If she didn't get a diagnosis soon… she would lose her mind. At least she could trust Ducky. A true friend whom she could share anything medically concerning her with. She couldn't trust any other doctor in the state. The director of NCIS at a doctor? Headlines would be up all over the place. Not to mention her security detail would mention something to Cynthia who would most likely tell Gibbs… She just couldn't risk it.

Ducky removed the needle and placed pressure on the site of entry. With his other hand he took a small plaster off the table and place it over the wound. He observed her weakened state. She looked pale… fragile. And he noticed she had lost tons of weight.

He patted her thigh gently for her comfort and she looked up slowly into his warm ocean eyes. Looks of concern and serious worry etched into his face, but also reassurance and hope.

"What's wrong with me?" She asked hoarsely. The shivering in her voice evident. The doctor pulled the tables with blood away from her and he place the 6 vials he had taken into the freezer. He walked back over to her and sat opposite on the other autopsy table.

"I'll find out… I promise Jennifer." She nodded and gulped. The fragile woman lifted a hand to her forehead. She felt exhausted… trying to avoid Jethro and deal with her mystery illness was proving quite a challenge. She didn't want him to see her all weak and feeble. She didn't want him to fuss and stare into her soul like he always did. She didn't have the strength.

"Don't tell Gibbs…" She begged almost silent. The medical examiner tilted his head and eyed her curiously. He knew that there was a history between her and Jethro. A history that caused both of their hearts to be broken. He also knew that they both still had feelings for each other, whether they realised it or not he didn't know.

"Why?" He asked quietly. She turned her head away from him and exhaled deeply. Ducky watched her as a single tear rolled down her pale cheek. Maybe it was fear. The fear of telling Jethro she may not get better. The fear that she would fall back in love with him again. Maybe it was pain. The pain of having to face him and watch him watch her suffering.

Ducky got off the table and dug into his drawer in his desk. He found two glasses. He placed them on his desk and went into the back room and managed to find a bourbon. He knew how much Jenny loved bourbon. As Ducky went into the back room, Jenny was left with her thoughts.

She'd have to tell Jethro one day… she supposed. If her illness got any worse. But she didn't want to. She didn't want to admit it, but she still loved him… had strong urges and feelings around him, but all she knew was that if he found out he would watch her like a hawk. And she didn't want that.

Ducky returned holding the 2 glasses and a bottle of bourbon. She managed to muster a small smile as he poured her a small glass. He placed it into her cold hand and she stared at it coldly. "I think you need it…" He stated as he poured some into his own glass. As he took a sip of his drink, he looked at her… she was still staring at her glass. "What is bothering you Jennifer? How can I help you?"

Another tear rolled down her cheek and she shook her head. "I'm beyond help Ducky…" She said hoarsely. He stared at her in disbelief. The director of NCIS heartbroken and 'beyond help'. He put down his glass and sat up next to her. She didn't flinch. He slowly patted her back. Trying his best to comfort her. He'd never seen Jenny like this. The closest he had seen her vulnerable was when she was shot in Europe, but even then, she was strong and confident. She wouldn't let a bullet destroy her career. So why was she letting an unknown disease destroy her?

"No, you're not." He said seriously. "You are the director of a federal agency… you can survive this…" She wiped her cheek with her hand. "But only if you let somebody help you." Jenny looked up to the ceiling. Thank god it was late at night and everybody had left. Thank god Jethro wouldn't see her in this state.

"What can I do Ducky!" She cried in desperation. "What can I do to hide the fact that I'm sick?" Tears were falling like waterfalls now. "I'm so tired of living like this!" She buried her face in her hands and very audibly sobbed. Ducky kept rubbing circles on her back and his heart broke at her pain. At least she was venting to somebody who could understand.

"Sometimes… you have to look at the reality in front of you. And accept it." He told her calmly. The loud sobbing stopped, and she looked at him… the tears creating rivers on her cheeks.

"What if I can't get better?" She asked him timidly. She had Goosebumps lining her exposed arms and she was visibly shaking. "I don't want to die…" She whispered. Ducky bit his lip and sighed. There was really nothing he could do to ease her pain. He could only think of one thing though…

"You NEED to tell Jethro…" She shook her head, the tears falling again. She leaned into his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around her like a grandfather would. "He deserves to know…"

"I can't tell him Ducky… He can't see me like this… He can't… its too much to bear." She begged Ducky. She would be going away for the next week, she wouldn't have to face Jethro for that amount of time.

"He will find out sooner or later Jenny… Just make sure your prepared…" The tears stopped flowing and she took a deep breath to try and calm herself. Ducky was right… he would find out, but she wasn't prepared for it and that's what scared her.


	2. Chapter 2

Jethro walked out of the elevator with a giant CAF-POW in his hand. When he normally walked into Abby's lab, he'd expect her to be doing some sort of crazy dance or exercise. He remembered the time that he had gotten out of the lift only to see her doing some sort of headstand trick on the floor. And the time where she had set up a meditation lounge for McGee who was stressing out. The place smelt like herbs for days after that…

The music she'd played would usually be so loud that the bass drop could be heard from just outside the elevator, however as the man walked towards the lab scientists' den, he couldn't hear loud music or a deep bass drop. He didn't hear the scientist he thought as a daughter chatting away and rambling to herself. For once… It was silent. Silence in any other laboratory would be a good thing, but not in Abby's lab. When it was silent, it meant bad things… And Gibbs didn't like bad things, particularly when it concerned members of his team.

He tried to remember a time when the music in her lab wasn't there. It was rare… He remembered when she had told him about when her little science friend had dumped her because she was too 'big'. And when Kate had died… She played slow and quiet music for days, in her memory. He walked into the first room and didn't see any sign of the goth scientist. "Abby?" He called out. There was no answer. He walked over to the computers and saw that fingerprints were being run through the aphis database, but there were no matches.

The tables and benches were super clean. And that was rare… Every other time he had walked in there, there would be stuff cluttered everywhere. It reminded him of the time when she had been overstressed and everyone was wanting something from her. Her response had been to tell everyone around her to back off. Not even a CAF-POW was on the table. And Abby loved her CAF-POW's… He walked into the second room, her office area… Still no sign of the goth.

The thought did occur to him that she could have been down in the evidence garage… But he was just down there. And she had long finished helping McGee with the model he had been building. There was Ducky's lab to consider as well… But Abby hardly went down there. The only time he could really remember her being down there was to collect evidence or to have a chat with Ducky. He leaned over the computer screen at her desk and saw that the screen was blank. "Abby?" He asked again with a little more concern in his voice. He looked over the other side of the room and saw the goth cuddled into her Burt Hippo right next to the table.

Jethro breathed a sigh of relief and walked over to her. As he stood above her, she looked up blankly at him. Her fingers were twiddling away at each other as she usually did when something was on her mind or she was thinking. "Gibbs." She said quietly. That was rare as well… She usually was excited and beaming with joy to see the man every time she walked into her lab. She shifted over to the side of the table so Jethro could sit next to her and bit her lip. The man- still holding the gigantic CAF-POW in his hand- sat down and looked at the scientist who was definitely not herself.

"Abby." He replied in the same manner. She kept blinking not even fazed by the CAF-POW that was inches away from her. She could have easily run away from the lab. How could Ducky even diagnose himself like that? How could he be sick and say that the blood was from a John Doe? The thoughts raced through her head, scary thoughts, sad thoughts. What was wrong with him? When she had travelled to autopsy earlier in the day to give him back the blood results, he seemed very agitated and worried. Palmer had confirmed to the scientist that there were no anonymous bodies currently in autopsy.

What also scared her were the high levels of the enzyme Creatine Kinase in the blood, that was bad… Not just bad. Really bad… That meant the breakdown of muscle and tissue. It meant inevitable death. She couldn't help the bad feeling that she carried in her gut. The nervous feeling of not knowing. The feeling of being absolutely helpless and fear. She couldn't eat, she couldn't find the words to say what she wanted to say. It was all a mixture of verbs and fear. What made it worse was that the bloods didn't have a case number on them. Which confirmed her fears that someone -Most likely Ducky- was not well…

Gibbs was still staring at her intently all the while still holding the CAF-POW. He knew that he didn't really need to egg Abby on, he used this technique to get her to talk all the time. She would talk when she was ready. The trouble was that Ducky had given her specific orders not to mention any of the bloodwork she had run to Jethro. They both knew that if he found out, he would pester everybody in the team for days trying to figure it out. Heck… He would even probably run his own personal investigation into the matter… The goth knew that she had screwed herself. And Ducky…

She wasn't very good at keeping secrets and she had no idea how Ducky could have trusted her like that… "I have this… Feeling Gibbs." She said as she gestured her hands to exaggerate the 'feeling' she had. It would be difficult to describe to him how she felt about the situation. Especially if it concerned the medical examiner. Jethro furrowed his brow curious to what she had to say. "This feeling of worry… And fear." He leaned his head against the table and nodded. Abby was still twiddling her hands together. "I think its Ducky…" There… She finally spat it out.

Jethro looked at her blankly with his head still leaned on the foot of the table. Ducky? What could possibly concern Ducky? "Ducky?" He said simply with the concerned question evident in his voice. Abby nodded vivaciously and bit tightly on her tongue.

"Yeah… Yeah Gibbs. He gave me these bloods without a case number on them earlier today… He said that they were addressed to a John Doe…" It was all rambling out of her now and she couldn't stop herself. Gibbs looked at her trying to keep up with her rambling speech. Why on earth was she so concerned about the blood of a John Doe? And why was she worried about Ducky? "I ran the bloods and they showed high levels of the enzyme Creatine Kinase. And Gibbs… That is not a good enzyme… I mean. Its good. Our body needs it… But in high levels its really bad… Like… Super bad… Like death bad." Abby paused for a moment trying to collect her thoughts together… Gibbs nodded not really knowing why she was so concerned about a corpse having a high enzyme level.

"And this concerns Ducky… How?" Gibbs asked a little confused. Abby sighed and squeezed her hippo a little tighter. It let out a farting noise. She was quiet for a moment.

"When I gave the results back to Ducky, he seemed… worried and agitated… Palmer was there too." Abby got up and started to pace around with her arms flinging everywhere. "And its not like Ducky to just… Leave! In the middle of the day Gibbs!" Abby exclaimed as she held up her hands. Jethro nodded as he began to make sense of the story. "Palmer also said that they didn't have any John Doe's Gibbs! Do you see my predicament?" He placed the CAF-POW on the floor next to him while Abby mumbled to herself and he bit his lip and furrowed his eyes. Abby did have a point…

If there were no John Doe's in autopsy and if there were no case numbers on the blood… It must mean that Ducky was self-diagnosing himself… Jethro sighed and looked up to Abby who was looking back at him nervously. "One more thing Gibbs… Ducky told me specifically not to mention any of this to you… I mean I… I let him down and… I… I." Gibbs held up a hand.

"You're concerned Abby… You didn't let him down…" Abby frowned and walked over to her desk where she began to type on the computer. Gibbs got up while stepping over the farting hippo and picked up the CAF-POW and followed her over.

"NO… I did Gibbs! Ducky could be dying! And he may have wanted to keep it a secret… And I let him down! How could he be dying Gibbs! I mean… Its Ducky! Ducky doesn't get sick! He just doesn't! Ducky cures people and helps them!" Abby shouted sadly. Gibbs stood in front of her desk and thought about when he'd last seen Ducky. He didn't seem sick at all… In fact. He seemed to be his cheery and jolly self. Unless… No. He couldn't think like that. There was no possibly that it could be the Director's blood. Or could it be? No… If she was sick, she would have gone to a doctor elsewhere.

"I'll talk to Ducky…" Gibbs muttered as he put down the CAF-POW on her desk. She sighed, resting her hands on the keyboard and looked up at him with concern in her eyes.

"What's happening Gibbs?" Abby asked sadly. The man didn't know what to say to the goth, but he had a strong feeling that whatever it was wasn't about Ducky. He shrugged his shoulders and looked at her intently. She got up from her seat and gave Gibbs a tight hug. He patted her back soothingly and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"I'll find out Abby… I promise."

* * *

A/N: _Stay tuned for the next chapters..._


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: _As i mentioned in my bio, i am going to be uploading chapters either fortnightly or monthly depending on how big the chapters are. For this story it will most likely be fortnightly as the chapters are not massively long. Anyways enjoy this chapter! The dialogue is taken directly from the episode 'stakeout' or '5x12' if anybody is wondering._

* * *

Chapter 3

The silver haired man strolled into the cold autopsy lab where Ducky resided. The air was cold and bitter as usual. He saw the old medical examiner hard at work with the 'autopsy gremlin' as Tony liked to call him. Jethro couldn't shake the odd feeling that he had in his gut since yesterday- the only other explanation that the man could think of was that Ducky was protecting someone. "Hey Palmer." Jethro said calmly. The autopsy gremlin looked up at the man slowly, wondering why he was being talked to by Jethro. "Abby's looking for you."

Palmer held a confused and slightly disgruntled expression. "I just left her…" As he said those words, he saw the glare that Jethro was sending him. He got the sense that Jethro wanted to talk with Ducky in private. "I will go see her again." Palmer announced as he took of the latex gloves and exited the morgue. Once the doors closed, it was Ducky and Jethro in the room.

"Is something wrong?" Ducky asked trying to play it cool, he had an inkling of why Jethro was down in his lab and he suspected that Abby had something to do with it. Jethro walked towards Ducky who was finishing up some work at the autopsy table.

"Well, you tell me… I thought we didn't keep secrets from each other." Jethro spat. Ducky nodded and placed the instrument he was holding down on the cold bench.

"You're referring to the blood tests I asked Abby to run on the non-existent John Doe." Ducky walked over to his desk and turned off his computer. "And so I shouldn't be surprised… She goes to you with everything." Ducky said with a winkle in his eye. Jethro was getting frustrated… He desperately wanted to know what was going on. He sighed and eyed Ducky.

"She cares about you and she's worried." The marine announced with concern in his voice. He wanted Ducky to know that this was serious. The ME made a face of confusion and furrowed his brow.

"About me?" He asked confused, Jethro watched as Ducky took off the gloves that were residing on his hands and disposed them in the bin.

"You were running the tests on yourself." Jethro clarified. Ducky smiled at the thought of Abby being concerned for him. She was really just a big care bear on the inside.

"No." He said waving his hands in front of him. "I am not self-diagnosing. You know… Abby allows her emotions to cloud her judgement. She jumps to conclusions." Ducky announced as he turned around and placed a file that was lying on the table into a drawer. "No. I am in excellent health for a man my age and if she'd bothered to check further, she'd have realised it's not my blood type." As Ducky turned off the lamp sitting on his desk, the adrenaline in Jethro surged deeply.

It meant that if Ducky wasn't self-diagnosing, then it had to have been somebody else's blood. He walked closer to Ducky and tilted his head slightly. "Who?" Jethro whispered wanting to get to the bottom of the story. Ducky hesitated and tried to avoid eye contact with Jethro. He placed his blazer on and took his hat off of the hook.

"You're putting me in a very difficult position, Jethro." Ducky- internally- was starting to panic. He remembered the words that Jenny had said to him a few days ago. _Don't tell Jethro._ She had begged him. Why did the two of them have to be so damn stubborn about their feelings? It was obvious that Jenny needed serious help but didn't want to tell Jethro about it.

The ex-marine shifted his weight on his feet. The pieces seemed to click in his brain like a puzzle coming together. "I can't think of anyone you'd stick your neck out like that for." Jethro hesitated. It was a wild guess… It couldn't have been Jenny. "Except Director Shepard." Jethro whispered. He watched the serious and grave look form on the medical examiner's face, and he knew he was right. A large pit formed in the bottom of his stomach. "Jenny?" He asked quietly and confused.

The woman he had always loved since Paris. The woman who was too stubborn for her own good. The woman who was his boss. Was sick. "What's wrong with her Duck?" Jethro asked him. Ducky walked out the door and Jethro followed him to the elevator.

Ducky didn't want to say anything, this was Jenny's business; not his. "You should… Ask her Jethro." The medic encouraged. Jethro shook his head and looked at the button lit up on the elevator panel.

"I'm asking you." He said quietly. He wasn't ready to have that sort of conversation with Jenny; anyhow she was out of the country and wouldn't be back until Monday. The elevator door opened revealing the grey walls and chilly railings within.

"I'm afraid I cannot tell you Jethro. Doctor- patient confidentiality." Ducky stated as he stepped in the elevator and pressed the button taking them to the carpark. Jethro sighed as he stood next to Ducky. Part of him was mad… Jenny had chosen not to confide in him and that hurt him. He knew that whatever she had was killing her- that also hurt him. She would most likely be dead - in a matter of weeks, months. Jethro didn't really know.

"Come on Duck… She was my partner." Jethro stated sadly. Part of him still wanted Jenny to be in the field with him. She was a damn good agent. He missed the snark that she would give him on a daily basis- she still did give him snark from her throne upstairs, but it was occasional. Ducky sighed; he felt beat. He wanted to help both Jenny and Jethro… But he just couldn't.

"I'm well aware of that Jethro. But just because you worked together closely doesn't mean that I get to tell you all her medical history." Jethro slammed the emergency button in the elevator; he flashed back to when Ducky and he were having a private conversation about the redhead's obsession with La Grenouille. Ducky saw the anger brewing in Jethro's steel blue eyes as they made eye contact with each other.

"What can you tell me Duck?" He asked him dangerously quiet. Ducky removed the hat on top of his head and leaned back against the railing opposite Jethro.

"You'll find out soon enough Jethro." Ducky tried to reassure him. Jethro snorted and flicked the emergency switch back off. Obviously, this was a waste of time… Ducky wasn't revealing anything.

"Like hell I will." He snapped. Ducky watched the man as he put his hands on the railing and gritted his teeth. He assumed that this was one of the reasons why Jenny didn't want Jethro to know about her illness- her ALS. His body language was exhibiting pain and anguish and Ducky could tell that as much as Jethro didn't like to reveal his personal feelings, when it came to Jenny it was obvious that the ex-marine still had feelings for her...


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Ringing. That's all he could hear as he walked past the staircase. That's all he heard everyday when he was sitting at his desk filing paperwork. "Jethro…" At the mention of his name, his head irked up to the very voice it came from. It was her. Walking down that stairs. "I just got a call from Pax river. The base commanders talking like the case is closed." The woman continued.

Jethro watched as she continued to walk to the bottom of the stairs. He had butterflies growing in his stomach by the second. He loved talking to her… Whether she was pissed or not. Just to hear the sound of her voice was enough for him. "No. That's a dead end… It's still open" Jethro announced calmly as he walked to the bottom of the stairs in time for Jenny to face him.

His heart fluttered as he took in her appearance. Her hair was in a high bun as it had been lately, and she happened to be wearing those bright hanging studs in her ears. Something was off though. The woman definitely had an aura of paleness to her. It was the first time that he had seen her since he had spoken to Ducky.

Jethro wondered if Ducky had told her about their 'little chat' in the elevator. He wouldn't at all be surprised if he had. "He claims we got our man." Jenny said simply as she looked Jethro in the eye. Jethro shook his head side to side.

"Got one link in a bigger chain. Still got five suspects." He watched as she tilted her head to one side, exposing the veins coursing through her neck.

"From his point of view, both the cocaine and the trafficker were found. Problem solved." Jenny said not breaking eye contact with her former partner and lover. Jethro shifted his weight and furrowed his brow slightly at her response.

"Is that your point of view?" Jethro asked quietly. She glanced off to the side for a moment then returned her gaze to Jethro.

"I can… Sympathize with the commander's impatience." Jenny said a little surprised by the question. She watched as the man took his gaze off of her and looked at the top of the stairs.

"Well… you 'sympathize'. I'll keep investigating." Jethro announced as he began to turn away while holding the coffee cup in his hand.

"Suspects dead." He heard Jenny say behind him. He paused for a moment and slowly turned around. All he really felt like doing was going back to his desk and enveloping himself in paperwork. He couldn't stand to see her without having the question that was intriguing him so much accidently slip out. "You played your hand. Rest of the team closed up shop."

Jethro began to walk back towards her. The dark, emerald eyes meeting a mixture of emotion in steely blue. They stood there for a mere moment. Her face blank as a canvas, hiding any emotion that she was carrying on the inside. "I can't afford to waste resources if the trail has gone cold…" She continued in an authoritative tone.

Jethro lifted his head to look up at the ceiling and nodded it from side to side; used to hearing her reprimands and being bossed around. "Director the only thing that's cold… Is that body in autopsy." Jethro said quietly towards the end. He watched as the woman let her guard down for a moment. Seeing a flash of fear and pain course through. Then it was gone…

"Clocks Ticking." Jenny whispered. "I will inform the base commander that you will be prudent in your disruption of his operations." She turned on her heel to walk away- breaking eye contact with Jethro. The man tilted his head to try and get a good look at her. It was like if he stared her down then the answer would magically come to him.

The woman stopped in her tracks- realising that Jethro still had his curious eyes on her. Turning back around, she smiled and lifted her posture up a bit- as if pretending that she was strong. "Something else?" She asked- barely a whisper.

Jethro tried to blink away the frustration that was gnawing away the inside of him. Turning his back to her- he walked away. Leaving the both of them with many unanswered questions…

* * *

As she walked towards the staircase, she met eyes with Ducky. "Do you have a moment?" He asked politely. She noticed the black clipboard full of papers that he was holding in his hand and instantly she knew that it was about her 'mystery illness'.

She glanced briefly at the many numbers and statistics on the page; none of them meaning anything to her. She felt someone burning their eyes at her; she recognised that feeling. Her eyes averted over towards the elevator and saw Jethro standing there watching the small exchange between her and Ducky.

She immediately hid her emotions in her face, but the fear and anger in her eyes were still sending an emanating glare towards Jethro. Butterflies raced in her stomach and she could feel a large blood rush to her pale cheeks. Feeling embarrassed and feeling the need for privacy she put her hand on Ducky's shoulder and guided him up the staircase to the safe haven of her office.

Once inside, she sat behind her desk slowly- feeling a little pain in her back. Ducky sat opposite her and placed the clipboard in front of her. She picked it up with trembling hands- anxious to see the results of her blood tests. Ducky watched the woman as she furrowed her brow, probably confused by all the medical terms and numbers.

Her hand drifted over the word of her diagnosis. "ALS" She muttered as she put the clipboard down and leaned back in her chair placing her hands over her stomach. She had never heard of the disease.

Ducky picked up the clipboard and moved it back towards himself. "Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis… Otherwise known as a neurodegenerative disease or ALS." Ducky stated sadly taking off his glasses and placing them on her desk. Jenny's face was blank…

She finally had a diagnosis… After all of the weeks of not knowing and uncertainty. She finally knew what was wrong with her. But no words could come out of her mouth… Blinking a few times, she took a few deep breathes to try and steady the tears that were threatening to fall. She couldn't cry now… Not after being so strong and hopeful.

"I'm sorry Jenny…" Ducky whispered and stood up from his chair- deciding that it would be best if Jenny was left alone to deal with her feelings.

"Ducky." She croaked and the medical examiner felt a lump growing in his already heavy heart. He turned around to the Director still leaned back in her chair. "How long do I have?" Jenny asked, barely a whisper. Ducky put his hand on the door handle and took a deep breathe.

"Six months… Maybe less." He said quietly. Jenny showed no emotion in her face as he said those words and nodded in understanding. "Thank you Ducky." She said hoarsely. "For everything." Ducky nodded- not really knowing what to say.

"Well… I… Anytime Director. I shall get you some medications to help relieve you of some of the pain." He announced as he opened the door and left the room- leaving Jenny in the silence of her empty office.

She glanced around at all the things in her room; the photo of her father, her badge sitting on her desk, the old packet of Panadol sitting in the open drawer next to her. She'd be dead within 6 months…

Picking up the clipboard that Ducky had left her, she glanced over at all the insignificant figures looking at her on the page. A tear rolled down her cheek and she let out a whimper. For once in her life, all she really wanted was Jethro… Just to feel his touch and his comfort was all that she craved. The feel of his arms around her waist, the warmth of his skin and the sarcastic remarks he would always make.

She missed him… Yet she didn't have the courage to tell him that she'd be dead within months…

* * *

A/N: _There will be a couple more chapters left til the story is finished... Thankyou for feedback and reviews!_


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: _Thankyou to the person who pointed out in a review last chapter that the way i have written about ALS isn't quite right. I am not a doctor and i try my best to make the disease as realistic as possible. I am aware that there are people out there who have or are actually suffering from the disease, and i appreaciate that different people have different ways of coping with it. I write this story thinking in mind of how i think Jenny would have coped with it._

 _I promise that the next final chapter will be a lot more interesting than this one... Thankyou for reviews and feedback! Much appreaciated! Now back to the story..._

* * *

Chapter 5

The elevator doors dinged open to reveal the one person that she didn't particularly want to see standing there. Jethro. She should have known. He always seemed to take the damn elevator for some reason.

She made eye contact with his steely eyes for a brief moment and stepped into the elevator cautiously. Jethro sighed and bit the inside of his mouth while moving to the side of the elevator to make room for the redhead. How would he handle this? He was so sick of all the lies and secrets. He just wanted answers.

Jenny immediately pressed the button to Abby's lab as soon as she stepped in- wanting the elevator trip to go as fast as possible. She exhaled a deep breathe to try and prepare herself for the inevitable question; butterflies churned in her stomach as she avoided eye contact with her former lover and stared up towards the ceiling in the elevator.

He took in the smell of the vanilla perfume that was filtering through the elevator. She had always worn nice perfume, even on their undercover missions. The doors closed and Jethro saw his faint reflection plastered on the doors. "You're investigation?" Jenny asked- not wanting there to be an awkward silence between the two.

Jethro looked above the doors as she made small talk. He shook his head slowly from one side to the other and hummed. "Moving along." Jethro replied in the same tone as Jenny. The woman blinked and kept her eyes locked onto the closed doors of the elevator. She wished that they would just open, and she'd be free to leave Jethro behind in the silence of the elevator.

Not that she wanted to though- she desperately wanted to tell him. But she couldn't. Jethro shifted his weight to the woman's direction and stared at the side profile of her face. Her blank expression hinting of no emotions; however, Jethro knew her well enough to know that if he kept staring her down, she would eventually break.

Jenny cursed herself as she felt the familiar burning gaze on the side of her face. She should have taken the damn stairs… But it was impossible to walk down them without feeling some sort of physical pain- a reminder of how bad her condition was getting, even with the powerful medications Ducky had prescribed her.

Jethro watched with a little internal amusement at the frustration building in the woman as he kept staring. She had had enough. Enough of the uncertainty. Enough of the staring. Enough of the pain. She bit her lip and leaned forward to the emergency button situated on the panel and switched it on. Causing the moving elevator to come to a dead halt and shrouding the two in darkness.

She turned on her heel to face the man that she had such strong feelings for, Jenny could have easily wrapped her arms around his waist and drain the warmth that she so desperately craved. But she wasn't that probie in Paris anymore. She was the director of NCIS. Dying of an incurable disease.

Jenny shifted her weight on her feet- figuring out what she wanted to say- as she made eye contact with Jethro; his dark blue eyes still very prominent in the darkness of the elevator. "You've been looking at me all week like you want to ask me something." Jenny said confidently.

The man turned so that he was directly facing the woman. This was his chance. The chance to find out what was wrong with her. He shifted his weight from side to side and had a brief chance to look her up and down- not that anything was popping out at him. "Any health issues?" He asked with serious concern in his voice.

He may have pissed her off everyday that she had known him, but her heart couldn't help but ache as he confessed his concern for her health. With incredibly strong strength, she managed to prevent tears from falling. How could he make her always feel so fragile and feeble? Yet so strong and confident?

"I'm fine." She managed to muster. Jethro could see her right eye twitch- still making eye contact with her emerald orbs. There was a moment of silence between them as Jethro could see right through her little white lie- and Jenny knew it. He was too observant. Too intelligent. And he knew her too well…

"Are you sick?" Jethro asked a little more forcibly. The frustration was gnawing at him on the inside. Even with all that they had been through together, she still wasn't opening up to him. It was like daggers stabbing his heart from all directions.

He thought back to Paris- the day that she had decided to end their affair. She must have still had feelings for him that day… Love doesn't just evaporate into thin air. Jenny tilted her head slightly- till gazing into his blue orbs- at his relentlessness. She knew that if she didn't tell him eventually, they'd be here all day.

He didn't need to know. It would cause the both of them too much pain to handle. She turned on her heel and switched the emergency switch off and the elevator burst back into life. Jethro watched and felt a pang of guilt in his stomach as she refused to elaborate. "My health is fine." Jenny whispered avoiding his eyes.

Jethro quirked an eyebrow as he watched her body language. She sure as hell wasn't fine. Why was she so God damn stubborn about it? "Yours, however, could take a turn for the worst if you don't wrap up this investigation." Jenny said as she turned back towards Jethro. He raised his head up- still squinting at the redhead- and carefully observed her while wondering how he could get her to talk.

The elevator door opened, and the woman strolled out- leaving Jethro standing in the same position. He looked at his reflection on the other side of the elevator- his blue orbs full of pain and concern- wondering what the hell had just happened.

* * *

The loud music that she played wasn't loud enough to distract her from the parasite knocking outside the glass door. The goth kept typing on her computer and bit her lip tightly. "GO AWAY MCGEE." Abby shouted not bothering to turn around.

"ABBY!" Jenny shouted over the loud music pounding through the door. She would never be able to understand how the Goth could listen to such noisy music without suffering deafness. Abby immediately swung around in her seat at the familiar voice and stood up to see the Director standing outside the door with a stern face on.

"Director." Abby stated a little surprised and ran over to the stereo to quickly switch off the music. Abby knew how much the music bothered Jenny when all she wanted was to talk to the goth. The lack of music filled the room with silence and Abby ran back over towards the dog- protecting it from Jenny's wrath.

The goth shot Jenny a slight pouting look- green eyes making eye contact with green eyes through the glass. "Do we have a problem?" Jenny asked in a stern voice while raising her eyebrows.

"Nope." Abby stuttered. She loved her job. She loved the dog. And the Director could easily take both of them away. "no problem." She muttered feeling defeated.

"Good." Jenny clarified with a confused expression on her face. Abby just seemed to get too attached to things. "Then could you open the door." Jenny asked sternly as she pointed at the glass door. Abby stood there for a mere moment wondering if she should obey Jenny's commands or ignore her. She decided on the former and slowly walked to the panel that controlled the door and typed in the code.

The door opened and Abby travelled back to where she was standing next to the dog- sending Jenny a sad expression. "Thankyou." Jenny whispered. Abby nodded slightly- not breaking eye contact with the Director. The dog 'Jethro' whimpered on the ground and Abby looked down feeling a little guilty for keeping the dog in such a bad condition.

Abby had heard the rumours from the rest of the team about Jenny's deteriorating health. And it was evident in the woman's body language; how she looked pale and a little skinnier than usual. Jenny walked into the room and glanced down at the dog. She had never really been a pet person throughout her life- but she felt sympathy for them when they weren't very well. "He doesn't look very good, does he?" Jenny said sadly and she leaned down to pet the unwell dog.

"I think its… Because he knows he's on death row." Abby confessed as she watched the older woman pat the dog softly. "That would… Put a damper on anybody's spirit." Abby said sadly feeling like she wanted to cry. Jenny looked up to the goth and gave her a slight smile. Then turned back to the dog and kept on patting it. "Suppose you're… Gonna order me to give him up huh?" Abby asked deflated.

Jenny looked back up at the goth and squinted her eyes at Abby. Oh, how the goth loved everything so much… Jenny felt a pang of sympathy for her. The director knew that it was hard. Saying goodbye… and treasuring the last moments. "Is that what its going to take?" Jenny asked quietly- almost in a motherly tone.

Abby stood there contemplating the question. She wasn't used to the director being 'sympathetic' normally it was snappy orders or 'get this done asap'. "If I had more time… I could prove that he didn't do it!" Abby stated passionately as she held her hands frustratedly in front of her. Jenny stared at the goth with concern in her eyes and raised eyebrows.

Jenny looked back down at the sick dog. "You seem to be the only one around here who thinks so." She replied calmly.

"SO WHAT? What if I am?" Abby's loud temper slightly startled Jenny. "You have to stand up for what you believe in… You have to stick to your guns until you can make a wrong right." Jenny listened to what Abby had to say- the goth needed to know that things didn't work like that.

Jenny thought carefully about her words for a moment. "Sometimes… Things aren't so simple Abby." She made eye contact with the Goths vibrant, green eyes. "Sometimes… You can't control the outcome." Jenny said- the tears threatening to fall. Abby looked at her with pain plastered all over her face. Ever since she had met Jenny, she had thought of her as a mom. "Sometimes you have to… Look at the reality in front of you… And accept it." Jenny whispered at the end- remembering what Ducky had told her during her blood tests.

Abby's mouth twitched as she tried to find the words that she wanted to say. "I can't." She confessed. Abby shook her head and slowly leaned down to the dog's level. "I won't." she muttered, causing the redhead to look at the goth with pain buried deep in her eyes. She hoped that Abby would be okay with Jenny's illness when it came time to say goodbye. She had learned to love the goth as a daughter- something that Jethro had helped influence. Abby began to pet the dog as well. "He really doesn't look good… Does he?" Jenny looked back at Abby and shook her head.

The goth looked at the Director and hesitated to ask the woman about her health. Abby had an inkling of what was wrong with her, Jenny felt the goths gaze on her and looked back at her- locking gazes with the concern in the goth's green eyes. "Is it true? That your sick?" Abby spat out hesitantly. Jenny looked down at the dog and patted his ears soothingly.

"Ducky told you." Jenny stated blandly. Abby gulped and stood up.

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry Director… I just. I was concerned and I ran your blood tests. - Which by the way I thought were Ducky's at first…" Abby paused seeing the pain expressed on Jenny's face. The director stood up slowly and looked at the goth with tears in her eyes. "Everyone's concerned Director… Even Gibbs..." Jenny managed to muster a smile.

"I'm going to be fine Abby…" She lied. "Please don't... Mention this to anyone." Jenny begged. Abby looked at the Director concerned, and she nodded slowly.

"You have my word." Abby said quietly. Jenny placed her hands in her pockets and walked out of the scientist's lab towards the elevator- hoping that she wouldn't receive another painful visit from Jethro.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: _Okay Guys... Sorry that this final chapter is a little late. This last week for me has been extremely difficult and i had lost the will to write, but its back now! Anyways i want to thank everyone who has taken the time to give me feedback and read this story, it really means a lot... Hope you enjoy this last chapter!_

* * *

Chapter 6

She sauntered sombrely into her study; the place that she spent time in the most. Sitting down slowly in the chair Jenny rested her head in the palms of her hands and tiredly rubbed her eyes- a side effect of the medication she was taking.

Every time she walked, every time she talked, every time that she did something, she felt pain. Whether it be a dull ache or a horrible cramp, she was in pain. And she knew that it was only a matter of time before she would reach her breaking point…

A small piece of paper was slipped out from underneath the megatons of paperwork lying in stacks on her desk. Tracing her shaky hands over it, she smoothed out any crevasses and bumps. The texture reminded her of Jethro- particularly the hard edges of the paper. It reminded her of the boats that he liked to build- of the sawdust and sharp splinters.

Lately _everything_ seemed to be reminding her of Jethro… Reading through field reports at eleven pm on a friday night sent flashbacks soaring through her mind of their late-night stakeouts. Even the smell of coffee that Cynthia kindly brought to her every morning reminded her of him. She couldn't get him off her mind.

Jenny reached for a pen sitting in the cupholder at the end of the desk, but instead of reaching the pen, her hand seemed to push the entire cup off the edge of the desk. She huffed and sighed in annoyance. Had it been a few months ago, she wouldn't have been so frustrated about it. She remembered how easy it had been for her to just leap out of her chair and go where ever she needed to…

Placing her hands on the table, she painfully pulled herself down to the floor and crawled on her hands and knees around the table to pick up the stationary that had collapsed. Hearing her bones creak and feeling the rusty hinges in knees sent radiating pain throughout her body.

She wondered if Ducky had anything stronger to help her cope, because nothing seemed to be working. Either her health had gotten much worse or her body was becoming immune to the medication. Jenny had even contemplated doing drugs just to get through the day because her tolerance of pain was so bad.

Returning to the chair with a pen in her hand, she looked at the piece of paper and contemplated what she wanted to say. To him. Why she was writing to him- she didn't know. The pen contacted the paper and Jenny let her hand go freestyle. Before she knew it, _Dear Jethro_ was staring right back at her.

Jenny threw the pen across the room, only to hear it creating a violent tap dance on the tiled floor. Bringing her hands to her eyes, she rubbed away the water falling and let out a few whimpers. Why did she have such strong feelings for him? Why did the mere thought of him send her into hysteric states?

Shoving the piece of paper underneath the piles of paper work, she leaned back in her chair and fiddled her hands together on top of her stomach. Her eyes felt heavy and like sandpaper from the tears she was shedding. Jenny heard a noise, like a clearing of a throat and she glanced up to see the one person she really didn't want to see. Jethro.

She turned her head away and she felt a warm blush rising to her cheeks. How long had he been standing there? She hadn't even heard the door open. He stood there watching the redhead sitting in the chair- avoiding eye contact with him.

Jenny looked like hell. Literally. In all the years that he'd known her, he'd never seen her look so weak, so vulnerable and fragile. Her hair was all knotted and messy, the mascara that she was wearing was smudged all around her eyes. It was like someone had beat her up. It was like she was a different person.

He watched as the tears fell down her face like powerful waterfalls and Jethro couldn't help but wince internally at the amount of pain that she was in. Why couldn't she just admit to him that she was sick? Why was it that she always had to look strong in front of him? Jethro paced quickly over to her and crouched at the side of her chair.

The redhead brought a hand in front of her face as if she was trying to hide. She felt a strong warm hand grip the hand idly sitting on her lap. The strong urge to pull it away was there, but she resisted. As much as she was afraid of being honest with him, she needed his warmth and comfort.

Her hand felt extremely cold and shaky. He breathed a sigh of pain as her sobs got louder. It didn't sound like cries of sadness, it was cries of extreme pain. He rested his head into the flatness of her breasts- listening to her heart beat fast.

Much to Jethro's surprise, she didn't push him away- as she usually would have done. She continued to cry uncontrollably as he squeezed her hand gently. Never in his life had he seen a woman so vulnerable and fragile. Not even Shannon, and yet he still didn't know what the hell was wrong with her. "Jen…" He whispered calmly.

Her sobbing slowed down momentarily upon hearing his deep voice, and she rested her chin on his head- that was still leaning against her breasts. She got a whiff of the strong coffee and sawdust embedded deep in the grey strands of hair, comforting her. Closing her eyes, Jenny tried to slow down her breathing.

Jethro could hear the small whimpers she was making deep inside her chest as she tried to calm herself down. The weight of her chin resting on his head sent a wave of joy surging through him. At last she was allowing someone to help her. He pulled his head away from her chest and ogled the sight of her.

No matter how much or how little makeup she ever wore. No matter how angry or pissed off she became, she always looked so beautiful. Whether she decided to wear her hair up in a bun or leave it down. She looked beautiful. She was beautiful now. Even with the smudged mascara and tear stained red cheeks.

She made eye contact with his concerned cold blue eyes that were so full of warmness. Jenny felt a strong hand trace the outside of her face. It felt so sensual and comforting. It made her wonder why she decided to keep the secret from him in the first place.

He would never be able to get enough of the sheer greenness of her eyes. They were so piercing and yet so pleasant. As he traced a hand around the curves of her cheeks and wiped away the tears, she placed a shaky hand on the wrist of his arm and stopped him. He watched as she gulped and stared straight into his eyes.

They said no words as she moved in closer to his face and placed a long overdue kiss on his manly, thin lips… If only she had known all along that it wasn't as hard to tell him as she thought it would be, then she would have done it ages ago…

* * *

 _-The End_


End file.
